Day 1: Touching you for the first time

June 16, 2013 at 4:39 pm (Uncategorized)

Day 1: Touching you for the first time in days. It’s like trying to catch a ghost. Where there was once warmth and affection, is now steel. Cold and hard. I just want to get to you. I need to get to you. To save us. I need to save us. I’m unraveling right before your feet. I’ll give in to you as many times as it takes to get just a little closer.  To not feel so disconnected. Touching you for the first time in days, I’m left with a hunger that won’t dissipate. 

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December 1, 2012 at 6:28 am (Uncategorized)

You repulse me.  I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you.  When you touch me, I feel myself go cold. You did this to us.  Look at what you fucking did to us.  You tore us down for the last time tonight. We will never be forever. You are shit. Tired of your shit.  Go fuck yourself. In Candyland. You piece of shit. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.  You make me want to blow my fucking brains out if that’s what it will take to end this ceaseless bullshit you generate. 

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The fire lies b…

July 16, 2012 at 9:36 am (Uncategorized)

The fire lies behind your eyes, but they provide no warmth. Instead, they burn me to the very core; everything that I am. I’ve gone cold from your touch. But it is not your hands I feel, and these are not your eyes. Unless the kindness you’ve displayed was all a clever disguise. This was what I feared. The skies have descended and swallowed the both of us mercilessly. Against the tumult we grapple for one another; you with eyes closed. All this time I am wishing to have done the same.

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April 8, 2009 at 1:30 am (Uncategorized)

let’s just face it.you don’t really care about me.or anyone else for that matter.your only intention is to break me.just another name to add onto your dirty list.But I want to mean something.Be something more than just another girl on your arm.But who am I kidding?

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when finally set free…

October 2, 2008 at 4:38 am (Uncategorized)

It’s been over two years,and I think I’m finally ready to let go.I’m living life now,I’m meeting new people,I’m learning to feel comfortable in my skin.It’s everything you wanted for me.And everything I couldn’t do for myself in the past.For the longest time,I tried to search for you in someone else,but it doesn’t work that way.You are no longer that emptiness I kept inside all these years.You are no longer the absence eating at my heart.Because I don’t feel those things anymore.

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4/3/08

June 4, 2008 at 2:00 am (Uncategorized)

wearebrokenandwewillneverbefixedbecausewearewaitingforthosewords
thatcouldfillusupandmakeuswholeagainandthoseearsthatlistennotjusttohear
buttounderstandbecausemyheartistiredandifeellikemyeyesaresearchingfor
yourbeautyandmyearsarestrainingtohearyoursweetsoftlullabiesandmyarms
wouldreachouttoyoubutletsfaceithyacinthisnomoreandazaleaisonlyacoloryou
canfindintheskyandnothingmorebecauseourparachuteshavefailedusand
theminormelodiesplayasmypicturedevelopsbutstilleverythingfeelsemptyand
imtiredofwordsbecausetheresnothingnewtowriteaboutandiwroteyournamein
sandonthebeachbutyouwerentthereandiwashereandistillhaventmovedsoibuilt
thesewallstokeepanyonefromcominginandibrokeheartsandlustedandiwas
runningonemptytheentiretimeandalwaysfadedandwantingsomeonetosaveme
untililearnedthattherearenoheroesinmyskybecauseyouwerentreallysuperman
eventhoughithoughtyoutobemyherobutitwasallanillusionwewereonlychasing
safetyyoustoppedlisteningsearchingfadinguntilicouldntfeelyouanylongerthe
memoriesarefadingandpastwordsyouvesaidareslippingfrommyheadyouwere
likeadreamiclungontobetweenthewhitesofmysheetstheabsenceeatingatmyheart.

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“Your presence drowns my heart in waves when I least expect it.”

February 9, 2008 at 2:37 am (Uncategorized)

Harvey,I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore.Someone that listens not just to hear but to understand.

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Eat your fucking heart out.

December 31, 2007 at 5:50 am (Uncategorized)

You’re so fragile,
I could fucking break you.

I don’t know what to do when you get this way.
You’re weak and I wish you’d stop.

I wish you’d stop your crying.
I wish you’d stop your thrashing.

Your melodramatic sobs only make me want to
hide inside myself more.

Because after today,I don’t ever want to look like you.
I don’t want to spill my fucking heart out.

I don’t want to be weak.

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i’m not so sure if i’m so sure anymore.

November 29, 2007 at 11:15 pm (Uncategorized)

You are:
Weak.Vulnerable.Naive.Sensitive.Critical.

You make me feel:
Like any other girl despite what we’ve been through.
Like spilling my fucking heart out,then taking it all back.

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“I’d run to you now if I could,but things have changed…”

November 21, 2007 at 5:21 am (Uncategorized)

i miss you.
whoever you are now.
i still haven’t found a connection
that’s matched the one we shared.

life.determination.enthusiasm.zest.profound.talent.passion.ambition.diverse.beautiful.
you are everything i’m not.

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